Wine Whine

Tired of being a slob, tried turning into a snob
Joined the local Wine Appreciation Society
Thought I’d get a bit more civilized
And there’d be more variety to me

In a mock chateau, down a flight of stairs to a cellar
Saw bottles upon bottles and rows of stemmed glasses
Dainty little bites of finger food laid out
Soon, it was time to begin our classes

New vocabulary was introduced: nose, terroir
And the S’s of see, swirl, sniff, sip, savour, spit
Aroma, appearance, bouquet, balance and aftertaste
Excited, I rubbed my hands, thinking this is it

With a flourish the first bottle was uncorked
A New World grape, so we were told
Bottled some hundred years ago or so
I wondered whether it was safe to drink something that old

“Complex”, “floral”, “herbaceous”, “deep” and “supple”
There were many orgasmic oohs and aahs
Unimpressed, I spat out whatever the heck it was
And asked for the crackers & cheese to be passed

Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, Moscato, Riesling and Chablis
Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Syrah
Burgundy, Merlot, Zinfandel, Barolo, Pinot Grigio and Prosecco
Shiraz, Marsala, Malbec, Beaujolais, Viognier and Rioja

French, Spanish, German, Italian, other Mediterranean
Argentinian, South African, Californian and Chilean
Australian, Portuguese, Romanian and even Indian
Different grapes and climates, all following a tradition

Bordeaux, Burgundy, Cava, Semillon and Chenin Blanc
Blush, Rose, Ice, Sparkling, Dry, Dessert and Gewürztraminer
Chianti, Claret, Port, Madeira, Sherry… with food pairing
Explained by a pretentious little sommelier

Predictably, it got too hoity-toity and stifling
I had the urge to escape to more familiar environs
Uh, emergency, excuse me, ladies and gents
I need to head out for cheap beer with some friends

 

Suggested pairing – Fou Fou Food in France