The Word


Even as thoughts besiege me

Words fail me

And instead of emptying sentences into an abyss

I revert to chanting

The Word

In a repetitive mala* of 108

Till the pranav overcomes the nishabd 


mala = prayer beads
108 = number of beads in a 
pranav = a mantra, the sound of Aum
nishabd = wordless in 



Amid the sounds of silence

Pounding thoughts

Reverberate & regurgitate in my head

Oscillations of unspoken words

Stimulating, scolding, provoking

No commiseration, no pause

Never ending

Discordant, dystopian, doubt-filled

Visphoti vichaar jo dhalte nahin*

Calm evades my being

Dark clouds cloak the rainbow silence

Harmony an impotent word

Harnessed in a miasma

A netherworld of negativity

Ashanti ka keechad*

Monstrous crags of imbalance

Through which blows

A gale of turbulence

Intractable schisms between factions

Virulent thoughts, voice in a vice

A vortex of volatility and vulnerability

Adhure khwaab, asthir dimaag*

The silence, not of concentration

Nor of meditation

But of confused mental contortions

And circumambulating constrictions

A sense of emptiness so unbearably heavy

That holds all sounds in a centripetal vice

* An endless chain of dynamite exploding in my head

* A cesspool of imbalance and uncertainty

* Unfulfilled desires and disturbed mind