Sometimes
Even as thoughts besiege me
Words fail me
And instead of emptying sentences into an abyss
I revert to chanting
The Word
In a repetitive mala* of 108
Till the pranav overcomes the nishabd
mala = prayer beads
108 = number of beads in a Mala
pranav = a mantra, the sound of Aum
nishabd = wordless in Hindi
Amid the sounds of silence
Pounding thoughts
Reverberate & regurgitate in my head
Oscillations of unspoken words
Stimulating, scolding, provoking
No commiseration, no pause
Never ending
Discordant, dystopian, doubt-filled
Visphoti vichaar jo dhalte nahin*
Calm evades my being
Dark clouds cloak the rainbow silence
Harmony an impotent word
Thrown into a void
A netherworld of negativity
Ashanti ka keechad*
Monstrous crags of imbalance
Through which blows
A gale of turbulence
Intractable schisms between factions
Virulent thoughts, voice in a vice
A vortex of volatility and vulnerability
Adhure khwaab, asthir dimaag*
The silence, not of concentration
Nor of meditation
But of confused mental contortions
And circumambulating constrictions
A sense of emptiness so unbearably heavy
That holds all sounds in a centripetal vice
* An endless chain of dynamite exploding in my head
* A cesspool of imbalance and uncertainty
* Unfulfilled desires and disturbed mind
Sing I your virtues in 40 stanzas every day.
Chant with devotion your name ceaselessly.
And seek I today your boundless wisdom and strength;
your thunderbolt to destroy the diabolical demons
that prey on me from the netherworld of my mind.
Your grace, my protective sheath.
O! Son of the Wind, I carry you in my heart with adoration
in the same way as you do the Lord.
You.
Dark of form,
with ash-smeared body,
gnarnled, matted hair,
rudrakhsha and tiger skin.
You.
Who resides in the snow-clad abodes
of Kailasa, the five Kedars,
Mani Mahesh and Shrikhand Mahadev.
In Benares and Ujjain and Nasik.
And in the hearts of a countless.
You.
who are AshtaMurti, Chaumukha, Triambaka,
Sadashiv, Omkara, Rudra, Arunachalam,
Natraja, Pasupati and Ardhanarishvara.
Shankara, Shambhu and AdiYogi.
Bholenath and Kalabhairava.
You.
Who are without beginning and without end.
From whom the holy Ganga emanates.
On whose head rests the crescent.
The father of time.
You.
Who is merged into utter and absolute stillness.
Who exists in the emptiness beyond all that is.
Who is unbounded and all pervasive.
Whom tonight celebrates.
A night of intoxication and rapture.
Of fixity, enlightenment and dissolution.
You.
I humbly dedicate this to you.
Lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu
May All Beings Everywhere Be Happy and Free
Sarvesham Svastir-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Shantir-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Poornam-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Mangalam-Bhavatu
Om Shanti Shanti Shantih
May there be an abundance of well-being in all,
May there be an abundance of peace in all,
May there be an abundance of fulfilment in all,
May there be an abundance of auspiciousness in all,
Peace! Peace! Peace!
Om Asato Ma Sad Gamaya
Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya
Mrityor Ma Amritam Gamaya
Lord lead me from the unreal to the real
Lead me from darkness to the light
From the earth to the open skies
Lead me from death to eternal light
I hold you in my gaze
Warm, the cockles of my heart
The beats, a now recognisable constant
Dull noir pulsates to hyper-saturated chromas
In breaths and out
Stream of consciousness triggering synapses
Agitated ‘Nowhere-ness’ to limpid ‘now-here-ness’
A discordant indigo mind turns into a more placid azure
Eyes well up
I blink away a tiny tear
As the heart drinks deep
I am back
Ups and downs
Twists and turns
Zigs and zags
A long walk
Stairs to climb
Bridges to cross
A thirst to quench
To reach that destination
A rushing rapid
A calming stream
Converging at a confluence
How befitting
An apt personification of life itself
https://belatedbloomer.wordpress.com/2021/08/15/angrezo-bharat-chhod-do/
Head over there for more interesting read! Jai Hind, fellow Indians!
For when there’s a longing…
Some may prefer the words, others the melody. Whatever works for you, I hope you enjoy!
Natsukashii is a Japanese word used when something evokes a fond memory from your past. It’s a word you exclaim as a smile creeps across your face.
Having lost my mojo to write in these troubling times, I’m sharing some photos of my bastion of peace – mystical & majestic – where I choose to commune with myself. Some cherished moments between 2015 and 2021…
Recess, decompress, de-stress from distress…
random rants ruminations ramblings 