…for water always finds a way

My tears I can taste.
They taste of sadness.
Of overbearing loss.
Of intense disappointment. Hurt.
They taste of happiness. Gratitude.
Of being connected with the One.
Salty. Sweet. Bitter.
They taste of aloneness. 
Fear. Shame. Impotency. Despondency. Rage.
They taste of unbounded joy.
And a sense of achievement. 
Arrival.
And departure.
Sometimes, they erupt.
Spouting spontaneously and trickling south.
Sometimes shy,
moistness lying hesitantly quivering
within my lids.
They carry forth hitherto contained emotion.
Unbound constraints.
A passage from the heart
to the world of light.
Damp drops of unformed words.

Some words live on, mine are more mortal

This is another interpretation of Sahir Ludhianvi’s classic, which was adapted into a Hindi movie song

Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
A poet am I for just a moment or two

Pal do pal meri kahani hai
And this, my story will last for moments few

Pal do pal meri hasti hai
My existence itself is but for a moment or two

Pal do pal meri jawani hai
Youth will leave me in a moment or two

Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
A poet am I for just a moment or two

Pal do pal meri kahani hai
This is my story as I bid adieu

Pal do pal meri hasti hai
It’s time to cast aside this life and begin anew

Pal do pal meri jawani hai
My youth is fleeting, for a moment, no more than two

Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
A poet am I for just a moment or two

Mujhse pehle kitne shayar aaye
There were many who before me preceded

Aur aakar chale gaye
Their words, once admired, have long receded

Kuch aakhein bharkar laut gaye
Some left with their eyes brimming

Kuch nagme gaakar chale gaye
Others, their words in the distance dimming

Woh bhi ek pal ka kissa the
They were then of a moment a part

Main bhi ek pal ka kissa hoon
As am I now, for only the one beat of a heart

Kal tumse juda ho jaunga
Tomorrow, I’ll be on my way

Woh aaj tumhara hissa hoon
Though I am a part of your present today

Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
A poet am I for just a moment or two

Pal do pal meri kahani hai
‘Ere my words are a part of your past

Pal do pal meri hasti hai
And into the attic of fate are cast

Pal do pal meri jawani hai
Yes, too soon I shall be

Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
No more than a distant memory

Kal aur aayenge
Many an exponent has walked this earth

Nagmo ki khilti kaliyan chunne wale
And many more will indeed take birth

Mujhse behtar kehne wale
Purveying words & verse, with exceptional talent 

Tumse behtar sunne wale
But their performances and patrons evanescent

Kal koi mujhko yaad kare
Dying in penury and debt

Kyun koi mujhko yaad kare
People only listen to forget

Mashroof zamana mere liye
This world… this world is hard

Kyun waqt apna barbad kare
To carry the memory of a mere bard

Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
I am merely a poet in transience

Pal do pal meri kahani hai
My stories post haste will exit your conscience 

Pal do pal meri hasti hai
As brief and mortal my worldly existence

Pal do pal meri jawani hai
As youth fleetingly enamours me with its presence

Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
I am a poet if only for a few instants

Pal do pal meri kahani hai
Not for long will my story last

Pal do pal meri hasti hai
Just as quickly as my life will pass

Pal do pal meri jawani hai
And as surely will this my innocence, too

Main pal do pal ka shayar hoon
Ephemeral my poetry, for only a moment or two

Chalte chalte… Yet another song interpreted

The lyrics to this song were composed by Kaifi Azmi. I’ve reimagined the thoughts of a nautch girl (plainly speaking, a prostitute), who finds a kindly client who rescues her (although in mine, the genders are reversed, sorry!!!). Here’s a link to a more recent remix:

Chalte chalte, chalte chalte	Alone in the wilderness, seeking space
Yun hi koi mil gaya tha	Quite by chance, I came upon this face
Yun hi koi mil gaya tha	Destiny’s dance, I came upon her face
Sare raah chalte chalte	Morose and mundane, mind a’upheaval
Sare raah chalte chalte	Aimless walk, mind a’upheaval
Wahin thamke reh gayi hai	A sudden stop, and time stood still
Wahin thamke reh gayi hai	A higher will, time stood still
Meri raat dhalte dhalte	The long dark night started to fade away
Meri raat dhalte dhalte	A glimpse of dawn, a glimmer of day
Joh kahi gayi na mujhse	Those words I had long left unsaid
Joh kahi gayi na mujhse	Thoughts that were rooted deep inside my head
Woh zamaana keh raha hai	Echoed now across the world aloud
Woh zamaana keh raha hai	Repeated by an enlarging crowd
Ke fasana	A story…
Ke fasana ban gayi hai	A story strung together of those words
Ke fasana ban gayi hai	And put to song by the morning birds
Meri baat chalte chalte	Harmony and melody
Meri baat chalte chalte	Lyrics unspoken, composed by me
Yun hi koi mil gaya tha	That someone I met, quite by chance
Yun hi koi mil gaya tha	Life gave me a second chance
Sare raah chalte chalte	The thorns I saw, became roses
Sare raah chalte chalte	Life afresh, a garden of posies
Yun hi koi mil gaya tha	A chance meeting on the lonely path I trod
Sare raah	A nod from God, a heavenly prod
Chalte chalte, chalte chalte	An approaching shadow falling in step Silently accompanying, there to protect
Sare raah	Then, hand in hand we walked along
Chalte chalte, chalte chalte	Path unsteady, grip strong
Chalte chalte, chalte chalte	Alone in the wilderness, seeking space
Yun hi koi mil gaya tha	Quite by chance, I came upon this face
Yun hi koi mil gaya tha	A divine bestowing of grace
Shab-e-intezaar aakhir	A night of interminable wait
Shab-e-intezaar aakhir	Mystically interceded by fate
Kabhi hogi mukhtasar bhi	As the sun harkens
Kabhi hogi mukhtasar bhi	And the day beckons
Yeh chirag	The darkness within
Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai	Is slowly dissipating
Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai	But I burn inside as I start anew
Mere saath jalte jalte	Struggling to cast aside ashen residue
Mere saath jalte jalte	Doubts ignite
Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai	My body alight
Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai	Every step I take
Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai	Mind-numbing ache
Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai	As the sun harkens
Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai	Clouds darken
Yeh chirag bujh rahe hai	She leads me on through the fire to dawn
Mere saath jalte jalte	I leave behind the old body I’ve worn
Mere saath jalte jalte	Blessed to be among the twice-born
Yun hi koi mil gaya tha	Quite by chance, I came upon her
Yun hi koi mil gaya tha	Quite by chance, I found another
Sare raah chalte chalte	Once embittered, this wretched cur
Sare raah chalte chalte	Now an angel and I walk together

Lyrics re-interpreted

This is an old Hindi song, a classic, the original sung by the incomparable Kishore Kumar. I have tried to not transliterate, not translate, but re-iterpret the lyrics. And here’s the link to a newer version…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyFWKazQCmQ

Chalte chalte mere yeh geet yaad rakhna	Remember this, my song, of as you move along
Kabhi alvida na kehna	Don’t say goodbye
Kabhi alvida na kehna	It’ll never be goodbye
Chalte chalte mere yeh geet yaad rakhna	Remember this, my song, as you move along
Kabhi alvida na kehna	Never say goodbye
Kabhi alvida na kehna	Oh, never say goodbye
Rote haste bas yoon hi tum gungunate rehna	Through laughter and through tears, let this be our song
Kabhi alvida na kehna	Never say goodbye
Kabhi alvida na kehna	It’ll never be goodbye
Pyar karte karte hum tum kahin kho jayenge	If ever we get lost in our love for each other
Inhi bahaaron ke aanchal mein thak ke so jayenge	We’ll find restful sleep in a meadow of flowers
Pyar karte karte hum tum kahin kho jayenge	If we get lost in our love for each other
Inhi bahaaron ke aanchal mein thak ke so jayenge	We’ll sleep amid flowers, tired and worn
Sapno ko phir bhi tum yoon hi sajate rehna	Where, my dreams, you’ll still adorn
Kabhi alvida na kehna	It’s not yet time to bid goodbye
Kabhi alvida na kehna	No, my love, it’s not goodbye
Chalte chalte mere yeh geet yaad rakhna	Remember this song of mine as you move along
Kabhi alvida na kehna	Never say goodbye
Kabhi alvida na kehna	Never say goodbye
Beech raah mein dilbar bichhad jaye kahin hum agar	If the road bisects and fate does us part
Aur sooni si lage tumhe jeevan ki yeh dagar	A bloodletting dart, a taste unbearably tart
Beech raah mein dilbar bichhad jaye kahin hum agar	I’ll bide my time, play the part
Aur sooni si lage tumhe jeevan ki yeh dagar	And if ever you suffer from an empty heart
Hum laut aayenge tum yoon hi bulate rehna	Beckon from afar, I’ll make haste for a restart
Kabhi alvida na kehna	This is not goodbye
Kabhi alvida na kehna	No, my love, it’s not goodbye
Chalte chalte mere yeh geet yaad rakhna	Sing this, my song, may it keep you strong
Kabhi alvida na kehna	Because it’s not goodbye
Kabhi alvida na kehna	No, my love, it’s not goodbye
Rote haste bas yoon hi tum gungunate rehna	Through happiness and tears, hum along
Kabhi alvida na kehna	It’ll never be goodbye
Kabhi alvida na kehna	No, never goodbye

The Word

Sometimes

Even as thoughts besiege me

Words fail me

And instead of emptying sentences into an abyss

I revert to chanting

The Word

In a repetitive mala* of 108

Till the pranav overcomes the nishabd 

 

mala = prayer beads
108 = number of beads in a Mala
pranav = a mantra, the sound of Aum
nishabd = wordless in Hindi

A RESOUNDING SILENCE / GOONJTA SANNATA

Amid the sounds of silence

Pounding thoughts

Reverberate & regurgitate in my head

Oscillations of unspoken words

Stimulating, scolding, provoking

No commiseration, no pause

Never ending

Discordant, dystopian, doubt-filled

Visphoti vichaar jo dhalte nahin*

Calm evades my being

Dark clouds cloak the rainbow silence

Harmony an impotent word

Harnessed in a miasma

A netherworld of negativity

Ashanti ka keechad*

Monstrous crags of imbalance

Through which blows

A gale of turbulence

Intractable schisms between factions

Virulent thoughts, voice in a vice

A vortex of volatility and vulnerability

Adhure khwaab, asthir dimaag*

The silence, not of concentration

Nor of meditation

But of confused mental contortions

And circumambulating constrictions

A sense of emptiness so unbearably heavy

That holds all sounds in a centripetal vice

* An endless chain of dynamite exploding in my head

* A cesspool of imbalance and uncertainty

* Unfulfilled desires and disturbed mind

SON OF THE WIND

Sing I your virtues in 40 stanzas every day.
Chant with devotion your name ceaselessly.
And seek I today your boundless wisdom and strength;
your thunderbolt to destroy the diabolical demons
that prey on me from the netherworld of my mind.
Your grace, my protective sheath.

O! Son of the Wind, I carry you in my heart with adoration
in the same way as you do the Lord.

Mahadeva

You.
Dark of form,
with ash-smeared body,
gnarnled, matted hair,
rudrakhsha and tiger skin.

You.
Who resides in the snow-clad abodes
of Kailasa, the five Kedars,
Mani Mahesh and Shrikhand Mahadev.
In Benares and Ujjain and Nasik.
And in the hearts of a countless.

You.
who are AshtaMurti, Chaumukha, Triambaka,
Sadashiv, Omkara, Rudra, Arunachalam,
Natraja, Pasupati and Ardhanarishvara.
Shankara, Shambhu and AdiYogi.
Bholenath and Kalabhairava.

You.
Who are without beginning and without end.
From whom the holy Ganga emanates.
On whose head rests the crescent.
The father of time.

You.
Who is merged into utter and absolute stillness.
Who exists in the emptiness beyond all that is.
Who is unbounded and all pervasive.
Whom tonight celebrates.
A night of intoxication and rapture.
Of fixity, enlightenment and dissolution.

You.
I humbly dedicate this to you.

Universal prayer for the world, for 2023

Lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu
May All Beings Everywhere Be Happy and Free

Sarvesham Svastir-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Shantir-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Poornam-Bhavatu
Sarvesham Mangalam-Bhavatu
Om Shanti Shanti Shantih
May there be an abundance of well-being in all,
May there be an abundance of peace in all,
May there be an abundance of fulfilment in all,
May there be an abundance of auspiciousness in all,
Peace! Peace! Peace!

Om Asato Ma Sad Gamaya
Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya
Mrityor Ma Amritam Gamaya
Lord lead me from the unreal to the real
Lead me from darkness to the light
From the earth to the open skies
Lead me from death to eternal light

FIRST SECOND SIGHT

I hold you in my gaze

Warm, the cockles of my heart

The beats, a now recognisable constant

Dull noir pulsates to hyper-saturated chromas

In breaths and out

Stream of consciousness triggering synapses

Agitated ‘Nowhere-ness’ to limpid ‘now-here-ness’

A discordant indigo mind turns into a more placid azure

Eyes well up

I blink away a tiny tear 

As the heart drinks deep

I am back