Here I was, unwilling, and a complete ignoramus
Wearing a tuxedo and bowtie, kicking up a fuss
Being hauled along to the opera, when I confess
I’d be more at home in T-shirt and shorts at a circus

Classical music was absolutely not my scene
Like I said before, I was just not keen
I knew not the difference between pensato and treble clef
Being harmonically challenged and tone deaf

Sat amid an audience discussing eagerly
Brahms and Handel, Chopin and Tchaikovsky
Mendelsohn, Gershwin, Wagner and Vivaldi,
I nodded my head most knowingly

OK, I knew Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Rachmaninoff
But Liszt, Dvorak, Mahler, Schubert I’d never heard of
Verdi, Puccini, Berlioz, Paganini, Strauss… just names
Not in awe of their fame, I almost felt ashamed

Out came the orchestra to polite applause
The ensemble and instruments; a brief pause
And then began my initiation into culture
As they started off with the overture

Harp, oboe, tuba, trombone and cello
In symphony with lute and timpani, said hello
Stradivarius and grand Steinway
Held the audience in their sway

Nods of the head as the conductor waved his baton
Eyeglasses and bejewelled ears rapt with attention
Satin and velvet & lace in the gilded balconies
Me, shuffling and yawning, so ill at ease

Seated like a dummy, with little appreciation
Waiting impatiently for the Intermission
Till I discovered there was champagne but no popcorn
I wondered how my death my friends would mourn

Chords, half notes, wind section andΒ ABCDEFG
Then the strings and chorus joining in, do re mi
Aria, cadenza, tenor, breve, metronome, baritone
I silently muffled the hugest, biggest groan

Alto, maestro, soprano and then the crescendo
Finally, it was over, I shouted the loudest bravo
Alas, encore meant the audience wanted more
I slouched further down in my seat, utterly bored




      1. Sir, Music is just music. There is Melody and Harmony everywhere. We consume it based on the sounds that soothe, rock, make the neck bob, or the hips sway. And in the New-Bollywood’s case, make anywhere from 20-100 people choreograph in-synch. When you listen to Die Forelle from Schubert, Bach’s Fugue (The biggest Genius of them all), Beethoven composing his Symphonies and the versatility of Mozart (How Prolific he was) I am mesmerized by the genius. It will take a lifetime. and then another to understand the complex construct. They gave birth to Jazz as a genre. Now, from Bach to Beethoven to Bhimsen to Balamurli, to Burman, to The Beatles, The Beach Boys to even Bhappi………..And this just B………… Simply put, (phew) Classical Music is like Test Cricket. and there are other formats.

        Liked by 1 person

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