Future du Jour

The daily newspaper’s arrived,
Quick, turn to the Horoscope
It’s a new day, let’s see what’s in store
You’re full of dread even as you hope

Oh wow, the world has turned
And yes, so has your luck
Mercury is now in Mars
So say your very own stars

Your Venus awaits you tonight
The future’s already looking mighty bright
There’s money to be made, lots of it
You’ve got the golden touch, not just a little bit

Today’s the day you will find fame
Much applause and even more acclaim
Everything you do will be just right
Your kids will think their dad’s awesome and hug you tight

Your wife will fall in love with you again
Your social life will be rosy
Your boss will give you a big raise
And everything will be oh so cozy
You’ll get back all the money you’d ever lent
You’ll be surrounded by close friends
An old, lost aunt will bequeath you a million
You’ll have plenty of opportunity to ensure it’s well spent
The Zodiac is in your favour, your lucky colour is yellow
By evening you’ll be elated, even if you’re currently mellow
Because if you place a bet today, you’re sure to win
Just make sure the number ends in seven
There’s a world to travel, you’ll get tickets for free
Just a minor little hiccup, nothing fishy
You’re asked to watch out while crossing the road
Between afternoon three and three thirty
There’s a slight chance you might catch a cold
But don’t you have nary a worry
With Jupiter in ascendancy and retrograde Saturn
It’ll disappear in a real hurry
Everything’s aligned for all you single Areans
Put on your best face, why be afraid
There’s a fortune just waiting to be made
Just wear a sapphire, but stay close to a Scorpion

Your dreams are all well within grasp
Your wishes fulfilled before you ask
That’s what Madame Astro is here for
To make you feel good, get your spirits to soar

Happy, you reach for the next tabloid
Flip the pages again, seeking confirmation
But oops, the aura’s slipped, the Universe is against you
And you slide right back into despair and damnation
You’re not alone, we’re all big suckers
Falling for such crap day after day after day
Our anxieties looking forward in anticipation
While they spin their yarn and continue to make hay
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49 Comments

  1. Oh yeah , I needed to read this. You are very clever K. You write and impart a lot of knowledge through this fun verse of yours. You are a mighty patient human person , if I may say so. Jee hain πŸ˜‡, ku ku Kunal πŸ€“πŸ™‹πŸ»

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Oh no, it’s always good for a lark. If you get a couple of different papers, try comparing them, it’s fun! Or come back to the pages once the day’s over and say, β€œyeah, sure” πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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