Close, but no cigar

Upcoming celebrations called for a walk to the cigar store
To look up what to stock up on for the humidor
A hand rolled fat boy stuffed with the finest  tobacco
Worthy of Churchill, Castro or Roosevelt Theodore

A luxury import from Honduras or Cuba,
Panama, the Dominican Republic or Nicaragua
Or something smuggled in as contraband
A mark of distinction, a regal brand

I was introduced to Hoyo de Monterrey, Partagas, Davidoff
Impressively stubby and aromatic, but would they induce a cough
I moved on past an array of Cao Brasilia, and Montecristo
H. Upmann 1844 Reserve, Dunhill and Rocky Patel Sungrown Maduro

AJ Fernandez, Bolivar, Ashton, Cao Brasilia
La Gloria Cubana, Regius, Fonseca and Ambrosia
Arturo Fuente, Padron, Macanudo Cafe, Diamond Crown
Neatly boxed, in different shades of rich brown

Perdomo, Cuaba, Alec Bradley, La Aroma de Cuba
Acid, Cuesta Rey, 1881, LouiXS, Gurkha and Cohiba
A brand that went by the name of King of Denmark
(I don’t know if he really smoked, or it was just for a lark)

Romeo Y Julieta (I wouldn’t kiss her if she smoked),
J.L. Salazar Y Hermanos and Diplomaticos
Casa de Garcia, Tabak Especial and Liga Privada
More Spanish names, yadda yadda yadda

Looking at the outrageous prices, I backtracked
Thought about the health I’d gain and the pennies I lacked
As I was thinking of leaving the store, I saw perchance
Beckoning to me, smoking a pipe, an old man of utmost elegance

He said, “Son, style over substance never does gain
When you can drink water, why serve champagne
Look at me, wedded as I am to this damned leaf
All my money up in smoke, causing me life long grief!”