Brands Make the Man

Came into a cool couple of million through a Nigerian scam
Thought I’d go splurge to better who I am

Clothes maketh the man, so with a craving for all things luxe
What better way to spend a few easy bucks

Donning these fancy labels and tags
They’d add way more style to my swag

I’d get a designer closet, oh so bling
Swish stuff that’d make my heart sing

Anything to look better than I currently do
And perhaps feature on the cover of the next GQ

So off I flew first class to Paris, Milan, New York and Dubai
London, Tokyo, Hong Kong and then back to Mumbai

First on the list was a cravat from Prada
So what if I don’t wear slick jackets, I just hadda

Next, a little something from Gucci
It promised to make me forever sans souci

A tote from that Italian fella Ferragamo
To show off to all my still-poor amigos

Belts, buckles and trunks from LV
Ha! Let them be the cause of my friends’ envy

Then a boat-load of stuff from Bvlgari
My bags were so heavy, the concierge had to carry

Some scarves and fragrances from the house of Hermes
Baubles for the mistress and of course, my missus

A quick pop in across the aisle to Tiffany’s
Five or six trinkets… is that too many?

Some bold printed silk shirts from Versace
From downright tacky to take me straight to classy

Jimmy Choo’s shoes and also a little something
Just so he doesn’t feel left out, from Christian Louboutin

Tuxes and shirts from Boss, Burberry and Brioni
For trousers, Tom Ford, Canali, YSL and Armani

Bespoke suits from those chaps on Saville Row
I tell you, the outfitting was such a bore

Next, a chunky Rolex or a Patek Phillipe
To add to the wrist, yup, they’ll do the trick

I threw in a couple of things from Dolce & Gabbana
Didn’t much care for them, but I just wanna

Bottega Veneta, Valentino and Givenchy
Flashy boutiques, exclusive and so very chi chi

Chanel, Fendi, Dior, Carolina Hererra, Nina Ricci
Umm, naah… oh, okay, may as well (sorry if I’m bitchy!)

Ties, cuff links, socks, hats, shades, accessories… check
And a box of Havanas just for style, what the heck

Bally and Miu Miu beseechingly called me back
Could they interest me in something and have it packed?

And before I forgot, I dashed across to Zegna
You just can’t miss out on a good thing, can ya?

Finally, since I still had some change left over
I ordered a Bentley, just to see the jealous guys glower

Look at me, people! Looking nouveau riche spiffy
Yeah, I know the losers will call it kitschy

Now that leaves me with just enough for branded underwear
Any suggestions on what and from where?

PS – And when it’s time for the next set of swanky clothes
I might need to break the bank at one of those Vegas casinos

Picture credit, Google – from the Bollywood movie ‘Hindi Medium’; a particular scene in which a loaded country bumpkin with no taste or class, ODs on high fashion brands to make a statement