Hundreds of messages waiting for me
Online friendships aplenty
Inducing me to adultery
And hot, kinky sex for free
Porn, more porn and all kinds of pills
Poker, psychics, tarot and thrills
Easy money, money, money
Wherever in the world, my choice of currency
Tummy tuck, hair regeneration
Gambling tricks, drugs, things forbidden
Contraband items, grass and weed
Something for every carnal or deviant need
Unsolicited expert advice and meds
Sold without any compunction or creds
Am I horny, depressed, going mad?
A solution for everything, good or bad
Help in promoting a post
Telling me I’m a writer with the most
Encouragement in foreign tongues
My praises in languages sung
From Spanish, Mandarin and Cyrillic
To Swahili, Tagalog and Arabic
I log on, first thing I see is spam
Want to knock my head, bam bam bam
Before I begin, I’m already beat
All I’m doing is delete, delete, delete
And same old story the next morning
Hitting on me again without any warning
Don’t hound me, stay away!
Stop jamming my inbox every single day!
Isn’t there a filter to keep them at bay?
Whatever the software, it still gets through
Tell me, do you get it too?
And if yes, what the hell do you do?