Thy name held in esteem by the speakers of the Queen’s tongue
Non-native speakers have also over the centuries of thee praises sung
But a curse upon colonial students art thou
If only you were to reflect how
The grief that your works upon us has bestowed
On a Midsummer’s Night we hath to learn thy passages by rote
And answer-eth Hamlet’s question in long notes
Thy plays have buttress-eth our limited vocabulary
Much as Stratford-upon-Avon & Verona, our geography
And Portia & Cleopatra, our definition of beauty
Kings Henry & Lear reigned over our literary studies
Like no local monarch hath ever done
Forsooth, it wasn’t a bit of fun
Romeo & Juliet’s love caused us Twelve sleepless Nights
Waking up in a cold sweat, full of fright
A Tempest caused in the minds of teenaged youth
Who really couldn’t give a shoot
Save for an outdated exam every Ides of March
To be given wearing full uniform, neatly ironed and starched
In which, in spite of a kindly teacher’s guiding,
Our report card would invariably bring bad tidings
And so for all the hard work we wrought
It all unfortunately came to naught
Lest thou think-eth I’m making Much Ado About Nothing
And like Shylock from thee thy fair share withholding
Dost thou know we had to perform-eth thine plays –
Having practiced hard over many a long day
Yet not quite fluent in Shakespearean English
And feeling more than a little sheepish
On a stage not quite the Globe Theatre
Facing 50 sniggering classmates, in morbid fear
Wearing robes and togas quite alien
Attempting to appear straight-faced, serious and solemn –
As part of the school curriculum
Et tu, Macbeth, thou art etched on our brains
Along with Banquo, Brutus, Desdemona and whatever else remains
Of that fellow Othello and The Taming of the Shrew
It certainly wasn’t As We Liked It, let me assure-th you
Know-est thou not that words like quoth and tarry
To the millenials don’t any meaning carry
All in all, All hath not Ended Well
And when I look back and upon thee dwell
I can tell you, thou’s Love’s Labour was Lost upon us
We hated it, we learned it only because we doth must
And so your good has been interred with your bones,
Yet thy archaic language still live-th on and on
As do thy endless soliloquys
Yonder and far, ducats, dukes and duchies
In the textbooks of the former colonies
And since we don’t and won’t ever get the hang
Fie! We will curse you in our contemporary slang
But rest in peace, dear sire
‘Ere thou think thee will so easily disappear
Alack! For scores of years I don’t see that any nearer
Very clever of thee ☺
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Aye, I hath fun doing this 😀. Thanks!!
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Forsooth thou dost, ever and anon, and I as well.
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Oh man! LOL! Not heard this in a while! Thanks, again!
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I had fun with it too, Kunal. Thank YOU!
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Wow! I taught English Lit and you know more than me!
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Hahaha, thank you! We had an excellent lady who taught us. And to be very honest, Merchant of Venice & Julius Caesar weren’t so bad 😉
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Nicely done! very impressive!
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Thanks, Marissa! Appreciate it!
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Loved this!😂😂
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Thanks, ma’am! 👍
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Oh Wow! What a pun intended tribute to Shakespeare 😁😁 enjoyed reading it! We were all in the same boat as you 👍
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I’m sure you were, R! Thanks!
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Very impressive, love it!
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Thank you, as always!
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Ahahahaha❤️ this was an absolute delight, Kunal 😀 thank you so much for sharing ❤️
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Thank you, Sanaa, thought you’d see the humour in it!
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Witty, winsome and a wonderful reconnection with The Bard! Bravo! 🙂
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Thanks so much, Krysia 🙂
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This was deliciously clever. The Bard would be cracking up were he to find this. No greater compliment to him than the endless allusions you have made to his works in this absolutely delightful piece. Bravo!
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Unto thee I give thanks 🙂
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Am I the only one who enjoyed reading Shakespeare right from school days? Hahah
Good one though.
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Actually I did, too, if you’ll scroll down the comments 😊 Thanks, Shereen
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Thou hast writ large upon the Bard and in quite telling words that doubtless floweth from thine own heart, and what shall I say, the least to thee, save that thou hast penned well, dear sir! God save the Queen, and may the Lord bless thee, as well!
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😀 Thanks for such a Clever comment, kind sir! I’m honoured! Happy new year to you & yours and God bless!
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having the heartiest and longest laugh in 2016…. hats off …. delighted to see you calling yourself a millennial .. A very happy new year to you and your family members!
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Thank you, Amit! Glad to know the bard still has his fans, some 400 years after he lived!
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Such a Marvelous endeavor, a savvy creation of the finest quality. 🌹🌹🌹
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Wow, thank you, Dorna!
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Good Sir, thou hast outdone thyself – Brilliant! – rote or not, you learnt them well. 😂😂😂 I once taught quite a few of these plays and I would beg that you cast your sympathies on the teachers as well. No easy task in the colonies.😀
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Did you really, Chev? I must give my teacher much credit – she was an absolute gem! And like I mentioned, I actually quite liked the guy, this one’s highly exaggerated – poetic license 😉
Thanks, as always!
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Oh I’m pulling your leg – I can see in all that you write that you must have had a great English teacher. Yes, I’ve switched careers a couple of times. Regardless of what I do, the teacher in me lives on. 😀
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You’ll slwYs be a teacher to your kids, even if they don’t want you to be !
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Yes and you know that’s quite a responsibility 😀
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Indeed
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Have yourself a fine New year coming in Kunal – you’ll bring it in before we do!
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Thanks & wish you the same 🥂
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well writ Kunal forsooth the bard would be pleased 🙂
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Thank you, sir! And a very happy new year to you & the ladies! Best wishes always!
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Haha! Excellent Kunal. I must say you are giving old William a run for his money! 🙂
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Thank you, Sonya! And a very happy & fulfilling 2017 to you & your family!
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This is simply out of this world! I enjoyed it very much. Keep it coming.
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Thanks, papa
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Pure brilliance, my friend. 🙂
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Thank you, Em, appreciate it!
Have an awesome 2017!
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I really enjoyed reading this though I didn’t have to learn anything by heart because I only graduated high schooI,but I have loved Shakespeare always.I have to say I won’t dare to write in his style for I’m scared of making mistakes,anyways,this is amazing,I enjoyed very much…A very Happy New Year to you,all the best wishes,have fun.
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Thanks, Seema and happy new year to you, as well!
To be honest, of course there’s some hyperbole and exaggeration here. And I also enjoyed some of his plays. 🙂
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my pleasure always 🙂
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Brilliant!! Loved reading this!
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Thanks, Aks 😊
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Kunal this is exceptional Shakespeare must be turning in his grave such artistry and clever use of words.Very well written loved it.
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Thanks so much!
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‘Tis in the exception where we find true beauty, not in some mundane stack of half-time poetry, but where the pen and ink have their souls bled upon the page. Like diamonds scoring into the glass windows of our translucent prisons.
Sorry, I am strickened with some melancholy which forces me to take up my pen play with language. To speak with the tongues of ages gone to dust, yet living on not less in self but perhaps in character, that we might in some way learn.
(Gets back in his box…)
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Hahahahahaha, I like that!!! 🙂
Thank you!
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This is so brilliantly written, I wish I could press more than one like.
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Well you do have a “love” icon on your phone, don’t you? 😉
Muchas gracias!
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This is wonderful
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Thanks, ma’am!
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Thank you for linking this gem to Prompt Nights, Kunal 🙂
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You know you’re always welcome, don’t you, Sanaa? You have a marvellous platform for sharing! 🙏🏽
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Aww!❤️ Thank you Kunal 🙂
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This is so clever and well done – wonderful 🙂
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Thanks very much
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What fun enjoyed this
much love…
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Thanks, Gillena 😊
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Beautifully written. I too have a love-hate relationship with the bard but indeed that should be reversed as I would rather now say ‘hate-love’ as as I appreciate him more now.
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Thank you 🙏🏽
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All of the Bard’s works all in one poem! Fantastic! Takes great efforts to line them up! Great write Kunal!
Hank
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Hahahaha, thanks, Hank! Glad you enjoyed it! 😊
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“The grief that your works upon us has bestowed” He does make one work but mostly it is worth it. Very clever Kunal
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Oh, I agree! It was the memorising by heart of passages that I was referring to.
Thank you for your visit!
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I knew what you meant, otherwise you couldn’t have written so brilliantly about the subject.
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😊🙏🏽
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