Experimenting with something new for me – adult humour :). Read on, and do let me know if it does tickle your funny bone!
Stanley was warmly content within testicular walls
At ease and hanging loose in his master’s balls
Unworried of the world outside of his sac
No ambition, not wanting to have a crack
Till one day, he learnt of what he was expected to do
When ejaculated from his prison to inseminate generation two
His purpose from then was to play a part to procreate life
Being fluidly transferred from husband to wife
Now full of enthusiasm, he decided to be the one
Who’d beat everyone else on the run
As his master hit the peak, he’d be first from the scrotum
His sole focus being to impregnate her ovum
Once released with a gush, quick as a flash
He’d rush, from vagina to ovaries making a dash
He looked forward to be the determinedly sprinting demon
Among the millions and millions in the dollop of semen
Pushing aside the others, he’d be the alpha male
Overtaking the other fellas with a swish of his tail
And as fast as he could be carried by his legs
He’d run through the tube and fertilise the eggs
Carrying the burden of hormone and chromosome
He’d be the hero bringing them home
So he practiced how to run through damp tunnels in the dark
Till he was near-perfect, thinking it would be a walk in the park
Then things, as they do in the throes of passion, went awry
Forget a heroic end, Stanley’s was rather more sorry
He wanted to make babies, but he got into a mess
A situation which he couldn’t himself redress
Inspite of his speed, the dear guy never reached the womb
Didn’t do the deed & plant the seed, instead he faced doom
Because such was his misfortune that when the time did cum
Uh-oh, sad, but he was among the wasted some
And thus poor Stanley never quite managed his moment of glory
Being washed away in a drain is rather ordinary
Hilarious, truly.
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Glad you concur! 😊
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Yes i was browsing humor because I can’t even begin to purposely write it. It comes fluidly or not at all, not unlike ole Stanley himself inna sense eh.
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Lol!
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I was expecting tonsils or oncoming trains….
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Hahaha! Yeah, could’ve been an alternate ending!
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Poor Stanley! Oh well, such is life, quite literally!
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😆 tx, M!
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Quality, made me smile. 😂
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Thanks, Drew! Glad you liked it!
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Hehe poor Stanley. Career aspirations flushed away 🙂 good one Kunal poetry and humour are not natural unless one has command and a flow like you do !
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Lol, thanks, my friend
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Oh my god K!! This was ridiculously funny 🙂 I’m still giggling away 😀
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Monday morning laughs! 😁
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Ha! This is hilarious
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Thanks! It was a fun write, too!
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I bet it was. Great job.
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👍❤️
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Humour is not easy to do, needs good wit and dexterity with words so I think you did very well, I liked it – the poem that is. Just wondering about the Master though – he won’t give up that easily will he? 😀
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Clever comment, Chevvy! 😜
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Hey – humour is clever work – so I gotta try and match it 😀
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👍😀
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Haha! I have tears in my eyes from laughter…even giggling as I type this!! First…fantastically written poem, and on top of that so funny, well…maybe not for Stanley. Thanks for making sure I read this! Now I feel generally more bad for wasted sperm. Poor guys. Remember Monty Python’s “Every Sperm Is Sacred?” 😉
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Thought you’d like it and am glad I could live up to your expectations! Thanks for coming across! 🙂
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Always, my pleasure! 🙂 ❤
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Sleep well! Catch you later!
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Thanks, K! Have a great day. 🙂
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Well, I’ll try, it’s a Monday!!!
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Kunal, I’m not sure I know what you do for a living. Have you told me yet?
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I run a graphics & communications agency in Bombay, working with corporates (so I do get the chance to write copy!)
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Oh fascinating! Thanks! 🙂
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Stanley , poor Stanley , it ain’t a laughing matter
Some hits and some misses ….The truth bout baby batter !
K , you have aced it ! I totally love this 🙂
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Hahahahahahaha, niiiice! Glad I could make you smile!
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That was hilarious !
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Thanks, Ritu! 🙂
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I liked it even better this time around! 🙂 Have a great Monday, Stanley ke Baap, baap re baap! :p
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LOL! Now mazaa is over, settle down & let’s try to get focus on the week’s work, shall we?
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You do that! I’m still on vacation. Yay!
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🙂
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Great fun, well crafted
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..for you & me, yes, but not for poor Stanley! Thanks, Derrick, for joining me in a laugh!
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Haha a jolly good one Kunal……Though sad that poor Stanley couldn’t get his share of glory in the race ;-). Idea, humor and style all bang on. Still laughing 😀
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Thanks, Radhika!
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Got your Naughty Express ticket and didn’t wasted a minute to hop on-board!
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Yaar, kabhi kabhi serious kam aur masti zyaada bhi honi chahiye, isn’t it? 🙂
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Han bilkul, koi issue nahi iss mei 😀
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Well, you have done it. 😀 That’s where competition starts from. When you said you are going to write adult humour I knew you are going to give us something kool.
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Glad you liked it, Amitav! 🙂
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You are welcome. 🙂
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Super Kunal….Very Funny…. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Delightful final two lines….with a touch of sadness… 😉
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Thanks! Pity it ended that way for poor Stanley 😉
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😉
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Hey K, by the looks of your comment page, Stanley ought to make a cum back ha!ha!ha!
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It takes a while for a man to recover, Y’know
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ha!ha!ha!, just couldn’t resist that one!
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👍
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Your first try was a success! 😀 😀 😀
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Hahaha, thanks! 😆
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this is one of those few poems that are both naughty and nice! 😀
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Thanks again! I tried to strike a balance! 👍
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you just did! 😉
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Amusingly wonderful, as I say, only you can do this Kunal.
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Mazaa aaya, na? 😄
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Hahaha bilkul 😉
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Hi ! Yesterday I wanted to comment on your post but ridden by deep rooted inhibitions I refrained.It was hilarious! Loved it!
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I can understand, not too worry! Thanks very much!
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Stanley wasn’t manly enough I believe. This was hilarious and so witty. 🙂
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Glad you liked it! 😀
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Oh giggle…giggle…giggle!!!
I’ll be back…..dru
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Thanks, Dru and you’re welcome back any time! 🙂
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Looks like you almost birthed something here. LOL
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Lol!! Thanks! 👍
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So clever! Haha!
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Thank you! 😊👍
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too too good 1
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[…] STANLEY THE SPERM […]
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[…] https://randomrantsruminationsramblings.wordpress.com/2018/01/29/toilet-humour/ https://randomrantsruminationsramblings.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/stanley-the-sperm/ […]
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