STANLEY THE SPERM

Experimenting with something new for me – adult humour :). Read on, and do let me know if it does tickle your funny bone!

Stanley was warmly content within testicular walls
At ease and hanging loose in his master’s balls

Unworried of the world outside of his sac
No ambition, not wanting to have a crack

Till one day, he learnt of what he was expected to do
When ejaculated from his prison to inseminate generation two

His purpose from then was to play a part to procreate life
Being fluidly transferred from husband to wife

Now full of enthusiasm, he decided to be the one
Who’d beat everyone else on the run

As his master hit the peak, he’d be first from the scrotum
His sole focus being to impregnate her ovum

Once released with a gush, quick as a flash
He’d rush, from vagina to ovaries making a dash

He looked forward to be the determinedly sprinting demon
Among the millions and millions in the dollop of semen

Pushing aside the others, he’d be the alpha male
Overtaking the other fellas with a swish of his tail

And as fast as he could be carried by his legs
He’d run through the tube and fertilise the eggs

Carrying the burden of hormone and chromosome
He’d be the hero bringing them home

So he practiced how to run through damp tunnels in the dark
Till he was near-perfect, thinking it would be a walk in the park

Then things, as they do in the throes of passion, went awry
Forget a heroic end, Stanley’s was rather more sorry

He wanted to make babies, but he got into a mess
A situation which he couldn’t himself redress

Inspite of his speed, the dear guy never reached the womb
Didn’t do the deed & plant the seed, instead he faced doom

Because such was his misfortune that when the time did cum
Uh-oh, sad, but he was among the wasted some

And thus poor Stanley never quite managed his moment of glory
Being washed away in a drain is rather ordinary

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75 Comments

  1. Humour is not easy to do, needs good wit and dexterity with words so I think you did very well, I liked it – the poem that is. Just wondering about the Master though – he won’t give up that easily will he? 😀

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  2. Haha! I have tears in my eyes from laughter…even giggling as I type this!! First…fantastically written poem, and on top of that so funny, well…maybe not for Stanley. Thanks for making sure I read this! Now I feel generally more bad for wasted sperm. Poor guys. Remember Monty Python’s “Every Sperm Is Sacred?” 😉

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