Sometimes I wonder, for just a day of my life
Perhaps I’d like to be a Kardashian
Have the paparazzi chase me everywhere
Reporting on my every action
Or maybe then Paris Hilton
Arm candy on either side, moneyed and blond
Clad in designer labels head to toe
Waving my look-at-me magic wand
How about Mr Windbag Donald Trump
Loud and boorish and crass
But a billionaire to boot
Wouldn’t that buy me some class
If not, maybe another Kanye-like showman star
Every do, every gig, every bash
I’d turn up boozy and stoned at
And make a such a humungous splash
Tats and piercings in my nether regions
Jealous rivals would diss me, spewing vitriol
Selfies with fawning fans
Going viral, me flipping the bird to them trolls
I’d walk my ripped body with swag
Following me, my bootylicious WAG
Protein shakes, botox, silicon and tuck
Pumping fans’ fists, hi-fiving, not caring a fuck
Every tantrum & flash of man-boob
Every trash talking statement I make
Flashbulbs & mics in my face
And articles about how the wannabe’s such a fake
Hang out, do some OTT stunts
Chick magnet striking a crazy pose
Get some TRPs, views and shares
In my gold chains and bespoke ripped & frayed clothes
Men in black would surround me
There’d be a red carpet for my entourage
The media circus would hound me
While I would continue with my charade
Drink Grey Goose or Cristal all day in my mansion
Create a scene in every hotel suite
Be envied by all the plebs
Yet be a celeb with trending tweets
Invite people into my bedroom
Charge millions as my fee
Then call 911, have the police throw them out
And sue them for invading my privacy
Imagine, the cover of Hello magazine
Would be adorned with my face
The gossip rags would sell mega copies
Simply by me having their Page 3 to grace
Uh, no thanks, actually I’m better off
Without my 15 seconds of fame
Unknown, in my little corner of the world
And quite happy with my name
Oh yeah, some things just aren’t worth it!
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Ummmm, maybe a selfie of my dyed nasal hair going viral & fans copying me? 😳 You think?
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Dyed nasal hair? Please tell me there is not such thing. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
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Lol! I’m sure someone will think that up! Till then, relax!
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I’m tempted to google it, but not that tempted!
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You missed the ‘being fawned by beautiful women’! And perhaps for good reason. Tough to put the last para in that case! 😀
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“Arm candy on either side”….. Although that referred to the male version….Perhaps you missed that!!!? 😄
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aah! yes.. i did.
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😊
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Hahaha K!
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🙂
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Fantastic K! I wouldn’t be following you if you were all the things except for the closing verse..YOU! 🙂 Delightful read in true Kunal fashion
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Thanks! 🙂
Now wait for the Made In India version…
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Awesome , Funny and am still laughing !!! You’ve got more class than all of ’em and boy am I glad you’re just K ! Dyed nasal hair …lol !
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Hey, why not? One strand in golden so my nose glows? :o)
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Ah ! Better than a red nose , Rudolph would say 🙂
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Read it again, will you? I’ve edited & added… Thanks!
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Man boobs. …….lol lol lol lol …..moobies!
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😊
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I suppose there should be a ‘thank you’ for not making the hints and suggestions explicit before the shutterbugs. So glad you decided to be You. That media circus would have been a nightmare. Thanks for the roll of laughs!! 😀
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Glad you liked it! I’ve done an “Indian” version if you’d like ot give it a read? (I could email you offline)
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Oh, sure! Aren’t you going to post it here??
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Would be duplicating things, it’s similar to the one here, only more desi bits thrown in
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Ah.. Alright. Well then, would you prefer a gmail Id or a microsoft one?
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Hey, doesn’t matter, whichever you’re comfy with! 😊
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Haha, fair enough. This is me then –
divergentcandour@outlook.com
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👍 chk your inbox in 5
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Will do. Thanks!
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That’s as damn good as the original! Kudos man! Great work with the humility, that most aspiring Indians have trouble with. 👏
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Thanks! Appreciate the visit & the time taken to comment!
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Glad to do it!
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👍
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Fun
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Thanks, Derrick! It was fun to write, too!
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I’m thinking – with the bevvy you’ve gathered around here, you don’t need to be a Kardashian. Thanks for the laugh but the nose hairs, best photoshop the selfie:-)
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Hahaha, Chev! Ok, if not nose hairs, those tiny ones around the earlobes? 😜
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Maybe best to stay off the hairy subject, could get warm around here 😊😊
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😊
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Honestly, I laugh on those names you have mentioned. They are poor souls, their life is nothing but artificial.
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Absolutely!
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Very nice read ! Keep it going Kunu !
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[…] Second Thoughts Since all that glitter isn’t gold, you better allow some room for second thoughts. […]
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Thank you, Hammad, that’s kind of you… 🙂
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Thank you for visiting
See you on the other side of creativity
Sheldon
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Yup! Take care!
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[…] SECOND THOUGHTS […]
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This is hilarious K, but you must do a photo shoot to accompany this piece, at least the Desi remix.
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No way!!!! But thanks, bud! 🍻
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Aww, c’mon.
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