Alas, Abeyance!

Needing respite, I kept them suspended.

And now, after the interlude, the thoughts keep coming back to me.

I visit the same places over and over again.

Read the same lines. Stare at the same pictures. Remember the same times.

I write the same words. Breathe the same stale air.

The same melancholy lyrics play in my mind.

Never a different moment.

The harder I try, the more difficult it is.

The long hiatus, the cause of heavy heartbeats.

I am weary.

But the clock tells me to move on.

For that which I am trying to lose, is already lost.

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47 Comments

      1. As I say, I’m missing you:-) Plans are taking shape and looks like what I’m dreaming of is unfolding. Time out has been good for me. Now how to get you out of inertia? ….

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  1. ,,,the Human condition accurately expressed…heavy and weary and clever, clever repetition of that word “same” . Gives your words an air of stale sameness…skillful writing my friend and deep profoundness in that last line. Good to read you on here again. Hope all is well with you and your loved ones. πŸ™‚

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      1. …Ah glad all good with you my friend. Here? I feel I am getting slowly better, just taking time. Am convinced I suffer from SAD!!! MM is getting busier with his gardening business now the weather is finally warming up…He sends his Regards. Take care and good to have made a virtual connection. πŸ™‚

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      2. …ha ha…is that a hint for MM to tap his fingers on the keyboard again! MM says the gardening Sanskaras are getting deeper and deeper…deep enough to plant potatoes! He is building decking for a customer right now, and then will be cutting tree branches, hedge and then attending to our whole customer base. Grass cutting, strimming, weeding etc etc etc. Phew! MM wonders where abouts in India do you live? He has forgotten… πŸ™‚

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      3. Oh…dear…my oh my…and here’s us in Scotland with more green than we know what to do with? What a strange world…how we end up being placed/ or we choose? where we end up in this life??? Sending you over some virtual grass meadows and forests. What have I to feel down about? You just woke me up…thank you my friend. Big lesson…be grateful for what you have in front of you.
        Thinking of you all in Bombay and now time to get ready to play these 2 Palm Sunday services on 2 different organ stools in 2 different churches! Sunday Blessings to you! πŸ™‚

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  2. Kunal, kyon na hum tum chale tede mede raston pe nango paanv re, chal bhatak le na baavre…kyun na hum tum chale jake almast pehchani raahon ke tale, chal bhatak le na baavre…
    Ok call me crazy but that was was came to my mind as soon as I read your musing. I felt heaviness seeping into my bones at what you have so beautifully captured, something we all go through but rarely talk about. Please show yourself more often, indolent or inert ko goli maaro

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