AN INSOMNIAC’S ALPHABET

Last night I couldn’t sleep,
I tried counting sheep
To many rams, I added as many ewes
But the total still didn’t reach zzzzz

I started at the beginning
Lined them up in a queue
One by one, they jumped over the fence
Each one muttering, “damn you!”

“Gee”, I wondered, “what the eff, sheep can’t talk
But sure enough they spoke right back
“It’s late at night, why can’t you let us be?
It’s not yet time for Rover’s morning walk.”

Along came a black one
Thinking ghost, I screamed “eeee!”
Till I gathered my wits around me
And exhaled an “oh kay!”

Three o’clock and no shut eye
With me awake, wondering “what in ‘ell?”
Still counting wool and lamb chops
Did I miss one? “Aye, wait a minute, stop!”

Frustrated, I paused at sheep x,
Loosened my pj’s & went for a pee
The sheep, ever patient, awaited their turn
As I then irritatedly brewed some tea

I passed New Zealand’s tally
And started counting them in twos
“Hurry up!” I said. “We are!” said they
You are still with me, aren’t you?

After six zillion and a few more zeroes
I was running out of sheep to count
Yet my sorry state of sleeplessness
Like the numbers continued to mount

“Bah!” I gave up, “baa baa” they bleated back
The RJ on the morning radio and his peppy tracks
Got me grouchily trudging out of the sack
I need some OJ inside of me
Today, I’m a zombie, it’s plain to see