THE FIFTH DECADE

The boobs, the belly, the butt start to sag
The stamina and libido start to flag

Added girth, more diet control
Hey, let’s just face it, we’re growing old

Bulge replacing muscle, a bit more flab
A touch more foundation, another dab

Creams and lotions, pills and potions
No going back, age has been set in motion

What??? Not yet forty? Are you serious, bugger?
Cut the BS, pal, we were born the same year!

Silver strands, bald spots, hair thinning
It’s menopause time, age kicking in

Crow’s feet, wrinkles, worry lines
Forgetfulness, losing our minds

Creaky knees, niggles and aches
Can’t handle late nights, give me a break!

*Bhaiya’s become uncle, *didi’s now aunt
Don’t even try to read without glasses, you know we can’t

^Old Monk & Thums Up – just a pleasant memory
Of drunken nights with buddies at IIT**

Now it’s single malt and stress tests in equal measure
Aging parents adding to the pressure

Midlife crises, doling out sage advice
Sure, we’re smarter and more worldly wise

But things have changed, those were the days
All these new-tech gizmos leave us quite, quite dazed

“Dude”, “bro”… it’s a different “frickin’” slang
We don’t get it, but do we really give a hang?

Our dads weren’t wrong, these are different times
We’re worried, aren’t we, of being left behind

Kids? Oh my God, how they’ve grown
It’s empty nest time, they’re gonna have flown

These daughters of ours and their short, short pants
Today’s crappy music and oh, man, today’s bands!

Gen Y boys no better, their low-waisters showing half their ass,
Frankly, it just displays a lack of class

And their obsession with piercings and tattoos,
Forget it, boss, ain’t nothing we can do

So, just take it easy, better take care
The big five-oh is up close, I fear

For the non- Indians in here, a small explanation –
* bhaiya & didi is what youngsters would call an older acquaintance in Hindi
^ Old Monk is a cult rum brand, popular among those who grew up in the 80s and Thums Up is the local cola back from the days when Coke was banned from the country
** IIT is the Indian Institute of Technology, a world renowned Engineering College, which also hosts a rocking inter collegiate fest every January