Today, I take you on, my fears
You overwhelmed me all these years
Made me despair, had me in tears
Because of you I looked long but never leapt
Where many ran, I carefully stepped
You caused me to seem so out of depth
Many desires that I had sought
Those battles were lost before they were fought
You, fear, brought a lot to naught
From not wagering on a winning bet
To waking up in a clammy sweat
To you I owe a lot, for this I am in debt
So much better could I have fared
I seldom won because I never dared
No question about it, I was scared
Of doubt, you were the biggest tout
With all the confusion you brought about
Clarity and resoluteness lay in a rout
I saw the mountain, never climbed to the top
Afraid as I was of the precipitous drop
Every step to Base Camp a muddling flip-flop
I dreamt of the stars but would never reach
They’re jettisoned now, flotsam on the beach
Because of you, damn you, clinging on like a leech
I rose at first to challenge but buckled before you
A thousand dithering thoughts replaced ‘can do’
Withering my chutzpah and confidence, too
The spark that was earlier kindled
Alas, into embers it gradually dwindled
As my strength of mind you slowly swindled
You tied my arms in a bind
You stayed my step, you ruled my mind
Courage was left lurching behind
When it was time for me to choose
You played that old, time-tested ruse
Pointing out to me what there was to lose
The wrong, the right, the goalpost in my sight
Fortitude meekly gave in to fright
And I’m left to rue what might’ve
Always too many ifs and buts
Always accompanying a paucity of guts
Determination stuck in an absolute rut
Stepping out of predictability, breaking the mould
Had I had been just that wee bit more bold
Many endeavours could have struck gold
Ambition, aspirations together they wavered
Objects and objectives I quite favoured
Like some dreams, they lay wayward
Buds never bloomed, ideas weren’t groomed
Fear loomed, certainty it subsumed
Million dollar babies were prematurely doomed
Instead of defiantly ahead, I looked down
Only glimmered when I could have shone
A lot of water under that bridge has flown
You pulled towards mediocrity when I chased excellence
Decisions unmade, sitting on the fence
Simply worrying about the consequence
The brilliance ebbed, potent became latent
And fluent gradually regressed into hesitant
With all the negativity that you made present
I yearned and yearned and I lost a love
Because I could not make the move
Perhaps I should have listened to that voice from above
Because of you it took longer than it should
I didn’t grasp the opportunities I could
Were they to reappear, in a trice I would
If I were to turn and look back
I see many a gift I didn’t unpack
All because of that one thing I lacked
All those chances I did not take
Making plenty of excuses, all patently fake
Because, you, fear, I could not shake
For far too long, I gave in to your guile
Body numb, stomach heaving with bile
Forget the marathon, not running even a mile
You inhibited my whole by a large fraction
Impetus made inert into inaction
But all is not yet over and done
You held me back, but it’s not too late
You wore me down, but no more will you dictate
Today’s the day for a turn of fate
For you, bah, I have only scorn and disdain
No more will I succumb to your influence, it’s all in vain
The tyranny that reigned, hereafter it’s on the wane
I have you defeated, I cast you aside
Conviction and courage with me abide
The fear inside of me has died
I give you the finger and I’m not afraid
I say, “screw you!” (something I never said)
A steadfast new path for myself I’ve laid
I unleash myself from your yoke
I leave you to bully other folk
Into a new era have I awoke
Hallelujah and Glory Be
I am released, I am free
Because today, fear, you don’t scare me
What all would I be if I could be all I could be. The thoughts, the words, the rhyme the meter, outstanding writing Kunal.
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What I write about sometimes is what I have already been through,so I
write to keep the experience fresh so that I don’t go back
Thank you for your concerns
As always Sheldon
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Hey Kunal
A very confident tone.
Well written and marvelous use of words.
Have a great day!!
~Arcane Owl
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Thanks, again
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It feels long, but I believe that’s appropriate for the content. It communicates to the reader that sense of suffering. I feel bothered by the use of the words babies and doomed, probably because I have so many kids. I really want to cuddle a baby now.
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Hmmm, I didn’t really mean babies literally, but I think I understand where you’re coming from. Thanks for the read & comments!
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I certainly enjoyed reading this. Always good to read something about kicking fear in the butt. Great work.
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Thanks, Kelsey!
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That was awesome! I get that you really got it when you read “Damn You!” This fills in between those lines beautifully! I look forward to following you and reading more of your words!
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Pleasure’s all mine!
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Reblogged this on random rants ruminations ramblings.
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Powerful Kunal!
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Thank you, ma’am!
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Absolutely😌
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😀
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You emerge victorious.
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But it takes over again! 😔 And the cycle goes on…
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Excellent. Brilliant write my friend. Happy new years.
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You too, my friend!
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OMG, this is so good! I don’t remember reading this before though I see I had liked it before. It resonates with me so much right now. Problem for me is its manifesting in bad dreams. But I did do my breathing exercises and spoke to my Guru as you suggested so I’ve banished these terrorists to the skies. Apparently Archangel Michael will take care of me 😃 Well, hope you have been resolute since you wrote this 🙂
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Hahaha, Chevvy! The poet and guru ebbs & flows himself! Yes, I do hope your guardian angel does his/her job
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No doubt like all things it’s a journey but the paradox is that Fear often gives you courage you didn’t think you could muster. I shall read this poem again. Thank you for sharing:-) Enjoy what remains of your evening!
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This one is just so right. More power to you, Kunal!
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Thank you 😊
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